Tuesday, May 29, 2012

World doesn't exactly same like what you had imagined.

  Parents beat us very often when we were small, perhaps we were mischievous children, and uncontrollable, so parents forced to beat us and wish to shape us into a well-behaved child. While, it never happens anymore after I enter into secondary school, and my parents love me more than others do. Although they scolded me sometimes, but I know it's my fault. Seriously, I never imagined there's someone else will scold me besides my family. 

  She is actually my superior. FYI, I'm working now. hahaha. I know I talk about it repeatedly, I am proud of myself! This is my 1st job. Okay, back to the topic. Yea! My superior had scolded me today. Seriously, I don't like Accounts Department, everyone seems very depress. They never talked to each other when working. I know this is a good matter for boss, but no for me. They are too over. The environment is too quiet, it is better if someone makes some noise when you are working, you will not feel bored, at least. I can't say I don't know anything about accounts, I learnt it in secondary school and college lives. But you know, there's always exist differences between academic and practical. Damn it's true. I didn't believe before. But now, hell yesh! I believe! I asked my co-worker before, if this really happens in life, why do people study in college? This is wasting money, we have to pay hell lots of money for tuition fee, accommodation, and even resource fee. She told me, people study for different reasons. Some people want to gain more knowledge, while some people want to get high-paid jobs. I believe working experiences are very important, but the "papers" are also very important. Today, I helped my co-workers to solve his problems. Actually I was not so good okay, just FREE. yea. Free. So, I helped him. I don't understand a transaction, so I asked another co-worker. Hell yea. I scolded by her, not really scolded, just shouted at me very loudly. Hello. I'm not the one who created the transaction, I was just asking, to solve the problem. I don't like things be done inefficiency and unproductively. So, please don't scold me. I just want to help you guys solve those problems, make the accounts have a same balance. I almost cried when I had been scolded. She shouted at me! Even my dad also never scolded me as loudly as she done! I'm damn angry that time. But still, congratulations, I didn't cry in front of her. I can't argue with people, I will cry, especially when I done nothing wrong! Today, one step closer to prove that I am growing mature. I put up with, and endure, forced my tears back to my eyes. Try to calm myself down, a deep breath did help. Lastly, I understood the transaction. Learnt something new.

  At the lunch time, the others co-workers tried to console me, and finally I knew why she shouted at me. She's sick and forced to work, because no one can help her. Her works is too difficult for others. hahaha! Felt better, because the one who shouted at me actually taught me something new before. So, I can't accept she scolded me, because I personally think she is so nice!  :) 

  Today, I understand world doesn't exactly same like what you had imagined, you will face lots of difficulties and problems in the process you growing up and being mature. Accept what life gives you, and learn a new lesson from the process you solving the problem. Jesus will leads you, trust your heart, trust Jesus. 

  Tears, should not be shown easily. Don't tears down when you are sad, tears down when you're happy! <3

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Right

  So far, everything seems okay right now. Life is going on at the right pathway. I am having a healthy life that I never had before. I have make a rule for myself, sleep before 12am everyday, wake up at 7.45am to prepare for work. I went for a swim whenever I wanted, even at night, even only alone. I just want to enjoy and relax myself before I am leaving to States. haha. I plan to go for Sauna and gym everyday this week onwards. How awesome my life is. If I want to get this life continuously, I have to study hard, and get a high paid job after graduate. I want to get myself an apartment which would have tennis, squash courts, sauna room, and swimming pool, just like the place I am living right now. Enjoyed enough! I don't wish that my apartment can be super super big, or having a luxurious renovation. I want a comfortable environment, renovation that can let me feel the warmness of HOME. This the the real meaning of HOME. A 4 rooms apartment is the best, a room for myself, a room for dad & mum, a room for grandmas, and a room prepared for my sisters brother when they want to overnight at my place. I didn't really understand how importance my family are for me, by time passes, and I getting older, I just understand how important they are. They are the most precious thing I have, the only people will support me whenever I need them.

  When I was in secondary school. I hate backstabber, lol but I am also backstabber sometimes. Please don't tell me you never gossip about people behind. I don't believe about this, except you are a perfect person. But best friends should never be backstabbed, they don't deserve this. You backstab the ones you are not really know them, because you don't know what they will think if you criticize them openly, you worry they will hate you after this. But trust me, best friends prefer you criticize them openly, rather than become a backstabber. This is what true friends will do. I would feel very angry if I was in secondary school, but now it's okay. lol. I always tell myself, "who never said about people bad things behind, just accept it, care about it will only makes me down, and spoil my mood. They will not have any feelings in response for your feelings". I am tired for friendship hurts. The most hurtful things I had in my life. Still feeling bad sometimes especially when I was viewing our photos. You don't feel hurtful as before anymore, just feel "melancholy". You will always ask yourself, if arguement never happened, how would we be now. Are we still best friends?

  Personally think I am getting mature, I mean mind. However, daily life just as usual. Still very blurred about the small things which my friends think they are very important. Qiu Li worries about me. She always told me, please grow up. Take care yourself. Cautious about everything happens in your life. Not all people you meet in your life are good. Sin Jo and Qiu Li even told me, someday you lost in US, don't phone us, we can't save you. I felt like want to cry that time, I only realize I am leaving. I can't phone them whenever I want. I will miss my family, and my friends. I feel blessed for their appearance in my life. Jesus, thank you for the grace.

  Today I went to Church with Felicia, Celine, Emma and Joyce. The priest told us a very meaningful story. When you are walking on the beach, you will found out the footsteps of you and Jesus on the beach, that time Jesus is besides you, guiding you, going through everything with you. But when you are facing difficulty, you will blame Jesus. Jesus, where are you when I am in difficulty, why you leave me alone. Actually, god embraces you, hold you up. So, you can only see the footsteps of yourself. Yes. Humans always blame god when we are facing difficulty, having a miserable life, but if you are having a blessed life, will you feel much thankful toward Jesus, as you blame god, no right? When you want something, like fortune, you will pray for God. However, when you do something wrong, you don't want get punished from God. Is it fair?

  Relationship. -.- Is it very weird for not having a boyfriend. lol. I didn't get why people always ask me am I having a boyfriend now. Life is still going on, even I am single right. I am just waiting for the right one, not waiting for the one who will accompanies me when I feel lonely. I can do many things whenever I feel lonely, instead of telling a man "I love you, I miss you, I wish you are here with me". Which girl doesn't wish she has a man who can protect her, provides her shoulder when she needs it. But a right one is always better than the best one. :)

  Don't fall into a relationship just because of you desperate for it, choose a right time and right person to fall with. <3

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Guess that my blog stats gone crazy. 17 views yesterday? Where did it came from? -.- I only expect 2-3 views a day. Quite happy actually. lol.

Recently I was busy with my job. FYI I am working at PP Chin Hin since May 10, working in the Accounts Department. FML. It is bored. I have to face lots of numbers and journals everyday. I have to drive from Puchong to Kuchai Lama everyday, it takes me around 45 minutes, jammm. That's why I hate driving in KL. The happiest thing I had before my setting on my jobs, was I got a whole day shopping at Pavilion. Zara and Topshop were loved, but I only afforded to buy one or two pieces. TT

Yesterday was Mother's Day. I bought my mum a bouquet of Lilies. She thought I bought nothing, I actually surprised her. :P Then, we went to Midvalley for shopped, and had a celebration at Gardens Mall "迎春楼", a restaurant with "hak ka" dishes, quite nice actually, you guys should have a try next time. hahaha! And, I got Gong Cha today! I was craving for it for a damn long time. Damn it!! Feeling have one more of it when I am blogging. :'(

That's all for today! hahaha! No photos. Was using dekstop now. Will upload next time. :)

Saturday, May 5, 2012

LOVE

Love doesn't come whenever you want. It come if it wants to. Don't expect too much, it doesn't happen in a predictable way. If you love, you happy, you sad, and you hurt.

Don't expect love comes to you when you are thirsting for an relationship. Wait patiently, the one, only one who belongs to you will come to you at a right timing.

Single is lonely, but it has it own benefits, which you can't enjoy when you are in a relationship.

LOVE


Wednesday, May 2, 2012

没有绿叶的陪衬,又怎能撑得起玫瑰的娇媚

I had gave a thought to blog about this, but I ended up with give up. I don't know how to start. ._. 
After a few days to structure my blog entry, here I am to blog about this.


Sometimes, you will find out there are many people else who you are not really related to them, but like to judge you, they can judge you from every view, academic result, personality, and even your LOOK.


I have a sister, and people beside me used to compare me and she. If you have a sister, you will know it. I know they didn't mean to become mischief-maker, they just simply like to do comparison, and judge you from their view. For me, they always said "oh god, why your sister so pretty and thin, while you look so differently with her.(this is the nicer way to criticize me, there got someone else who said I am ugly and fat)" For my sister, "why your sister so clever, but you are not so smart?" Not to say I'm smart, but they would said I'm smarter than my sister. My sister and I never gave a shit about it. Let them be. They need something to be their topic. 


Actually, I want blog about LOOKS JUDGEMENT. lol


When I was studying with Yeen Chee, he suddenly asked me, why you are not famous in Kedah, I know, because you are not pretty. hahaha. I didn't angry about it. He was just giving a statement but not a comparison, and he never meant to satire. But still, some girls will still feel hurt when they heard about this. For me, I have an antibiotic to defense this kind of situation. Why? I faced this before, even more powerful words. Actually they were hurting me that time, but day by day, I forget the hurt I faced before, or I should say, it's not hurt as before, because I am blogging this, so I can't say I forget. Talking craps, ignore me.


Let me show you guys how hurt was I. hahaha


When I was Form 4, I was good with Jack and AiLin. We always hung out together, and play together everyday. lol. I even taught them to drive without license, evil friend. 


Jack has one cousin, Jason or Daniel I forget already, just a stranger for me. But I was not for him, because he judge me. He described me and Ailin as "buy 1 free 1". Of course I'm the free one. Pretty thing always need to buy, cheap thing usually given as free. hahahaha. I even can ridicule myself now wtf. The only bad advantage for a not pretty girl mixed with a super pretty girl. If you have pretty friends, you have to have a strong heart, this actually hurt my self-esteem. lol. For all girls, this kind of comparison is hurt, if she says she don't mind. Don't believe, she actually mind, and probably her tears will roll in the night. I never tears down because of this. I rather waste my tears on those tv series, better than on this kind of judgement. That time I was so stupid, I should go in front him, used Lee Hom poster posts on his face and tell him "hello, if you handsome than him, I welcome your FREE JUDGEMENT, unluckily you are not" :/


Lee Hom is really handsome, hahaha. I know I am stupid to compare them, it's hard to find man handsome than Lee Hom. So, I lower the standard, just for you. If you handsome than this, I accept your judgement. Deeply from my heart. This pig is cute. Haih. I think it's hard for you to win him. Plastic surgery can help. Damn. I sound sarcastic. 







Yeen Chee, is only the kindergarten level. hahaha. This person, UNI level. We should give him a certificate for "high" level judgement. :)


Okay. Even faced more yeng one, when I was taking picture with pretty friends, again at AiLin organized home party, someone even hurt me by saying "You are spoiler, others are pretty, you are the ugliest". I really forget who is him. =.= If I remember, I will straight forward show his name, I am HUMBLE. hahaha. Okay. Can I consider this judgement as a kind of humiliate. Am I overlook? lol.


Seriously, girls, I just want to tell you guys. Maybe you are not the pretty one, but you are the nice one. In your family and friends' eyes. You are good enough. This kind of judgement is hurt, but you have to learn to accept. This is a kind of challenge to yourself. You can choose to feel sad for it, or motivated by this.

     Be confident! Photo credit to Kang Sze Geng 


You can become pretty if you want. Okay. I'm fail to motivated by these kind of judgement. I love eat and pimples are popping out for academic stress. =.=


Or even the proud one, tell yourself you are so good, so nice, so adorable, so cute, so there are so many pretty friends who want to mix with you.


没有绿叶的陪衬,又怎能撑得起玫瑰的娇媚。你能想象一株光秃秃的玫瑰带给你美的享受吗?


So, if anyone judges you, show him this blog entry lol. I actually want to increase my stat. :p

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

最后一天

每次都是这样,明明有很多天让我准备考试,总是等到最后一天才甘愿坐下来认真地读,而且是读到三更半夜的那种,读到听到鸡啼声的那种。他妈的,周慧仪,你可以改掉这种超烂的坏习惯嘛。天性啊。

明天就是考试的最后一天了,超爽,超开心。可是明天有两门!TT 太无趣了。而且第一门是在早上八点,我的脑袋还没清醒。

现在胃在打架,没心情读书。

很懒很懒,想睡觉想睡觉,想旅游想旅游,有时候真的觉得自己不开心,需要一个人的旅游,自行的浪漫来让自己放松。读书读太多,也会压抑过度。没有把自己充好电,读书的动力没了,到最后只能表现平平。