say NO to fast foods.

KFC ah pek :p

Fried chicken, spicy is the best

Cheezy wedges, I love wedges but not cheezy

A&W, the logo not so nice.

                                                            
                                                                      Mozze burger

I am blogging these without feeling hungry, because I just ate them today and yesterday. lol. I also don't know why recently these FAST FOODS are so desirable. FML.

All of these equal FATS. Lots and lots lots lots of fats, so unhealthy TT You need to run a few hours to dispose these fats. But they tasted so yummy, irresistible.
I actually got one idea, next time if I feeling like want to eat them, I should GOOGLE calories they contained to STOP me. lol. lame.

I still remember when we were kids, my dad used to celebrate our birthday at these fast food restaurant. Kids love fast foods, and KFC pek pek gave me lots of memories, probably my house near to KFC restaurant.

I should stop these!! :(

Racism

Malaysia is a multiracial country. Malays occupy the largest proportion, and Chinese, Indians are the following. There are always many controversial issues in Malaysia, and most of it, we can say are existing between Malays and Chinese. As a Malaysian Chinese, I wouldn't deny that I have certain degree of racism, especially toward Malays.

My dad always said that if I had a chance earlier, I definitely will leave Malaysia as soon as I can and abandon an identity as a Malaysian. YES. I'm fucking agree about that. Malaysia government treats Malaysian Chinese unfairly. This is a DAMN SURE conclusion I can make after 19 years living in Malaysia.

How my racism started? This is definitely not a nice memory, and I could say that this was a worst memory, and nightmare I had. When I was Standard 5, when I was cycling at my taman, a Malay brutal molested me. CIBAI. The bloody scene I always remember, not the moment he molested me, it was the moment he turned back and smiled to me after I had molested by him! CIBAI right? If time machine does really exists in this world, I will choose to travel back to this day. I would not show my shocked face and cry in front of him! I would choose to throw my shoes toward him, and shout my lungs out to make him famous among the neighborhood!

I guess that Malays men are always famous in the incident of molest.

Evidence 1, when I was on the way to Times Square with my friend, a Malay tried to molest her in the monorail! She is a smart ass, she used a beg to cover her, and pushed the brutal's hand away.

Evidence 2, you guys know there was many people on the count down night to welcome a new year at Bukit Bintang there right? I went to shop with my friends at Pavilion on that day, and when we came out from Pavilion, there's crowd. My friend be molested again, she shouted to me that got a person touched her buttocks. Fucking hell. When I watched on the man who stood behind her, okay, pak cik, you look so gentleman, but why you act like a brutal? I confirmed he was the one. Why? His expression was weird. When you are walking in the crowd, you will look around to avoid any collide between you and others right?   But that pakcik, his sight was exactly in the straight line. If we were not in the crowd, pak cik, we would smash you into the hell.

I still remember what my friend commented, she said "I just curious why they like to molest girls, only a piece of "meat", next time we should put a pork meat to cover our buttocks, if they like to touch, go ahead."

And, I met mant Malay teachers in my secondary school life who tried to humiliate his students with words. "Kurang ajar" was the word he said mostly, Kurang Ajar means your parents didn't teach you properly in manners, I guess. Hello. You can humiliate your students, but not their parents okay.

Politics issues. I don't want mention about this. It's a long story, and my English is poor, can't blog about it very clearly. Google it if you are interested. :)

Yes. There are many Malays who are very good exist. But I met bad ones, more than good ones. LOL

Best friends.

Best, is the best, and the only one right. But for me, all of them are my best friends.

Seriously thinking to blog all of them one by one, but not now. lol

I scared I my tears will rolling when I am blogging. All of them are so good, so good, sipek good, super good.

Friends, always play an important part in my life. I'm not a good friend, but I have so many best friends.

Today, I ate 3 cup instant noodles, and just drink a cup of Nescafe. I will sit for my US History final today, 5-7pm. Pray hard for me. You guys rock okay! After you guys pray for me, I passed my TOEFL.

Just a boring blog entry. HAHAHA

Life, you treat me good enough.

Hahaha. The 1st thing that makes my life better off is I no need resit for any English tests anymore. Why? Because I passed my TOEFL, 80/120. Not a really good score, but at least I hit my Uni requirement. Now, I'm just waiting for my Uni offer letter. Dear offer letter, come fast to mummy! :)

I know this is nonsense. HAHAHAH. But I'm happy with it. I dreamed him! Even talk to him, I also feel very happy actually. :D I am not in love with him, I just duper like him. He is cute. XD The 1st thing I done after I woke up was SMS Sin Jo and told her about this. His single eyelids, body structure. Ohmaigod! Best enough for me. buahahaha! 欣赏帅哥无罪！:) damn 花痴..

oh MY DAY, you are perfect today! 

#10ThingsIWantToHappen

Inspired by Twitter's Malaysia Trend.

Yes. I have so so so and so many things that I wish it would happen. But it always fails, or sometimes, I would said it doesn't really happens in the way I want/ think.

First, I want a family without any argument.
I care about my family, so I always wish that my family is always in harmony situation. BUT IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. No argument, no life right? I tended to look arguments as something very annoying in the past, it brought painful memories.. However, I look argument as a chance to let each other be more mature and a chance to let us have more understanding among family members now.

Second, I wish that I can eat what I want without growing fatter.
Whenever my friends and my relatives saw my brothers, they always said that why they so thin, you look so fat. God. I also wish that I have same body structure than them, but I wish that I can SLIGHTLY fatter than them. They look so skinny, you can't see any fats on them, what you can feel is bones. I always complain my parents why they gave my brothers this kind of DNA, but not me and my sisters. Girls look good without more fats. Boys don't really need it, because they can transfer all of the fats into the MUSCULAR form.
Like this,..

I don't really like muscular men, because they look so scary. They can smash you into pieces easily when you fight with them.  MUSCULAR MEN V.S. FAT WOMEN. Muscular men definitely become the winners. So, don't marry a muscular man if you don't know any fighting skill. HAHAHHA

Third, I wish that I can eliminate my social-awkward.
I am not good in socializing. Or, I should say I am very very bad in this kind of thing. I can talk whatever I want, laugh as loud as I can in front of my friends, but in front of strangers, I just act cool. lol. Many friends told me "When I first met you, I thought that you are a quiet person, but after I getting know of you, I just realized that you are so talkative, like a bird." I always imagine other's standing in my mind before I talk something, I imagine what response the will give me, and then I just talk what I want to express. lol. When I talked something I think it was very funny, but he didn't laugh. I felt awkward and bad. I AM A COOL JOKER. People can feel coldness whenever I was talking jokes. hahaa

Forth, I wish that I know magic.
So, I can do all the housework by using magic. .___. I don't like do housework, need times and energy.

Fifth, I wish that I have super memory
Then, I can pass all my exam! I can memorize what I learnt in one shoot. hahahaha! Uhm. I think a better understanding is preferable. :)

Sixth, I wish that my pimples can disappear tomorrow.
I have many pimples on my face, and I fucking hell don't know how to control them. They just like mushrooms, keep growing on my face. WTF

Seventh. I wish that I can meet Jiyeon someday
She is cute, adorable, attractive, and pretty! I wish I meet her in reality life someday! I love the way she smiles. :p

Eighth, I wish my friendship with my friends can be forever, until end of my life. :D

I knew fewer friends, but most of my best friends know my secret and I'm very good with them. I don't care I have fewer friends, what I care is my primary and secondary school best friends. It's good that you have many friends, but it's better that you have fewer friends but all of them know you very well!

Ninth, I want to get myself a prince. 

HAHAHAHAH. yes! I am despo in a relationship, so what? :p 

Tenth, I want myself be happy everyday and appreciate what I have! 

Family, friends, classmates, and relatives. They form our lives. They decide how your life going on, besides your mood. :)

Better

You would feel better with the time passes, you deserve better, you will be okay, don't sad.

These are what we always heard whenever we had something put us into the upset situation.

Yes. My normal reaction was swipe my tears away, and put a big smile on my face. You guys know right? We always don't want others worry about us, but the sadness would still deep inside our heart. 

I thought I am better now, really. I thought with the time passed, I would cure my wounds. Actually, I am lying myself. The wounds are still there, no matter how hard I try to forget, they are still there, always there.They become part of my soul, my identity. I can hide them, but I can't bury them. 

Yes. Sometimes I would feel that I wanna die, then everything will be okay, everything will lost from this world. However, I know that I must live my life until the end, this world still has many things I can't let go, and I don't want let go.

So, I have to cheer myself up no matter how. Take a deep breath, and shout my lungs out, everything will temporary be okay. 

I can't believe I blog at this time! hahahaha! Why? I never blogged at the time everyone was awake before, I used to blog at midnight?

Did you guys see that I scolded someone on Facebook, so sorry I am not gonna blog about her. :p I don't want pollute my wall. :) But I can still give you guys a brief summary. She didn't slander about me, but she did run my friends down behind them. YES. FRIENDS. Not only one of my friends was victim, but four! You guys can imagine how cheap was her. THE WORST PART IS, we are graduated from high school, and they are in different colleges now. I don't understand why she can still criticize and slander about people, and act like their friend in front of them. HEY, WAKE UP PLEASE, YOU IDIOT, YOU ARE 19 now. :)

Stop.

THE MAIN POINT I'm here is to inform my friends, I am taking TOEFL this Saturday, so, do wake up at 9am and start to pray for me.

Uhm. Any INTIANS follow up my blog? Uhm. My group is having trial on next Tuesday for US HISTORY,  A WITCH'S TRIAL, please attend if you guys are free. Appreciate it.

其实，我算是一个坚强依赖性很强的女生，我能活在这个世界上知道我18岁又6个月我真的要非常感谢我身边的朋友，无论是家人或朋友，他们都是那种很会保护别人的类型。虽然他们每次都会骂我很迷糊，太过于依赖，可是他们还是死命地帮我，不会丢下我。

来到了大学，依赖性还是不能减少。爸爸对我太好了，只要我说我想他，他都会开两个小时的车带妈妈来找我，陪我吃东西。每次他们要回的时候，我的心都酸酸的。看着他们的背影，车子慢慢远离我的视线，不是第一次的经验了，可是那种感觉还是会存在。以前中学的时候，总想着要快点离开家里。爸爸妈妈一直吵架，真的很烦、很烦，我还记得我去过一个教育展，有个人对我说“你看起来就是那种若有机会，肯定会直接打包行李，离开家里。”那时候的我并不否认。我家里的事情真的很多很多，每次我都很压抑。当我告诉熊猫的时候，他每次都告诉我：“忍一忍，过了中五，你就可以远离这一切了。”损友！哈哈。其实那个时候如果没有熊猫、秋秋、欣柔在我身边，我真的会因为太过压抑而想不开。所以，他们对我来说真的是那种很重要很重要的朋友，那种我一辈子都不会忘记的朋友。他妈的，越写越感动。哈哈哈。真的很谢谢他们！：）后来，我才发觉到，离开家里不是一件很开心的事，至少没有我想象中那么开心。当第一天，我爸爸送我进学校宿舍的时候，他红着眼眶叮咛我一定要好好照顾自己的时候，我才发觉我真的长大了，不能在躲在爸爸的羽翼下一辈子受到保护，我是时候长大了，将来好好保护我的的父母。我离开家里的时候，妈妈哭着抱住我，帮我收拾行李。我才知道，虽然他们一直吵架，可是对我的爱从来没有少过。去年我跌倒，脚扭伤，痛到我不能走路的时候，爸爸送我去医院打了止痛药，然后送我会学校宿舍，到了半夜我想上厕所的时候，我一拐一拐地走到厕所，我在厕所崩溃大哭，真的真的很难过。喝水的时候，也要一拐一拐的走去，那时候我真的很想我的弟弟。如果我在家的话，他肯定会服侍我像个大小姐这样，肯本不用走下床，那时候，天天躲在被子里哭。我才知道家人有多么地重要。在家的时候根本不会珍惜，以为一切都是理所当然的，离开了，就像鱼离开了水，要多么的挣扎。

申请大学的时候，资料爸爸会准备给我，我奔波，爸爸也跟着奔波。学校要求作文，熊猫会帮我，虽然他真的很厉害拖，可是最后也是帮我完成。他是那种嘴巴非常毒的朋友，帮了我，还要骂我，用箭射我，虽然我知道他为我好，可是真的很伤好不好。他说“你必须做点努力，要不然，我真的不知道你怎样在美国生存。”还有依琳，她也是自告奋勇要帮我。我身边有这样多守护神，我什么时候才能真正成长，我怀疑。我的脾气很臭，很容易生气。身边的朋友都是那种脾气很好很好的人。欣柔和秋丽都是。欣柔是那种对我发了脾气，还会跟我道歉的人，虽然事情很明显都是我的错。秋丽是那种大姐大，像母鸡，而我和欣柔就像小鸡每次跟她诉苦。秋丽非常地担心我，正确来说是每个人都很担心我到了美国会不会出什么事情，就连我自己也是。时间越接近，我越不安。当初是我坚持要出外留学，可是现在怕的是我。

我不是那种很爱哭的人，不会因为身体上受到伤害而哭的人，除非真的很痛。我看电影会哭，可是不代表我很爱哭。可是我的朋友家人永远都弄我哭，不是因为他们伤了我，是因为他们都很好。我不是一个很好很好的女生、朋友，可是他们依然不离不弃。每次我伤心的时候，在身边的永远是家人很朋友。

我第一次感觉到生离死别的时候，是外公离开的时候，那个假期的时候，知道爸爸妈妈很忙，会驾着休旅车，带我们四个小瓜，去瀑布，水晶山玩的人。有时候我真的觉得上帝很不公平，明明外公做了很多很多的好事，为什么要那么早走，而且还要那么地痛哭。癌症永远都是那么的折磨，你们懂得那种因为身体的某处皮肤被癌细胞感染，必须切除，然后又要把另一身体的皮肤切下来然后补上去的痛苦吗？而且，不是一次的手术，而是很多很多次。还要做化疗，人生最后的日子都是在医院进进出出地度过。他好美食，可是他必须因为要跟死神搏斗，控制饮食。明明很痛苦，可是他必须坚持，因为他放不下。放不下他的孩子，放不下他的孙子、孙女。离开的时候真的很不能接受，那时候也是有朋友在身边，通过电话安慰，而不是一个人面对。家里的大人有太多的事情忙，他们没有时间告诉你生离死别是很平常，没时间安慰你失去家人的痛哭，因为他们也很痛。

我不懂这一篇的主题是什么，或许只是突然又感触，突然很想写些关于身边的人的东西。人总要学会成长，我不确定我做不做得到，但我会努力。把自己的羽翼练得强一些，以后换我保护你们。我也想告诉你们我会很好很好，你们不用担心我。在天国的阿公和公公也会保护我的。

爸爸妈妈姐姐哥哥弟弟婆婆阿嬤欣柔怡雯秋丽依琳焕晋永远都是身边对我很好很好的人那种值得我放在心上的人家人友谊永远都是我最想珍惜的东西

Gonna dating with YeeLing, Qiu Li and Cathleen tomorrow! Recently skin quality is worse, have to apply mask and skin care to save it! I wish to welcome the dating with bright skin, charming smile tomorrow! hahah!

Stay Tuned.. :)

Jealousy doesn't make you better off.

I forget where I heard from, the 1st moment after you wake up, you have to smile to welcome the day! hahaha!  So, I done something lame today, I took a mirror and give it a large and sunshine smile! My mood, yes! Definitely, it becomes better than the previous days I had.

I have to sit for two tests tomorrow, US History and Accounting, and I still have many chapters need to "absorb" into my brain. I know, I probably can't finish my US History, but I will try my best not to skip any chapters and don't be panic. These few days, I can't concentrate on my studies, laziness is overwhelming me, and these subjects are stressing me out. :( I would rather sit in front of my laptop, scrolling up and down on Facebook than studies. I felt no moods recently, and talked to Xiao Di make me feel better. A best cousin I ever had.

Yes, we know there's somebody who talked about us. "Aiya, their result not so good, why they can study abroad? Because their parents have money!" Hey, is there any point to make you happy for making this comment? Why you can judge us from yours perspective! We know we are not smart, but we will work hard. Our parents are also working hard to get the MONEY to send us overseas study! You use your precious time to comment about us, why you don't want use your time to work hard for a scholarship! Maybe we had done many charities in our last lives, so we deserve to born in these families! I know that is also no point for me to care about your jealousy, but I only want to consult you for work hard if you are reading my blog and you commented on us before! :)

Jealousy doesn't make you look smarter, prettier or even handsome, it makes you ugly! So, please care about your inner beauty!

The day is nearer, and I have been struggling. I feel scared. Thanks to those who supporting me, give me psychological support. You guys are awesome! I will never forget how good you guys treated me! <3

Okay! Should back to my US History now! bye! People, enjoy your good day! Smile to welcome every day! :)

DREAMT!!

I DREAMT him again! What the hell was happening!! The fifth time. FML!

T_____T I don't want! Go away please go away please GO AWAY PLEASE!

You should not participate in my life, and even my dream!

FML FML FML FML!

I rather dreamt a dinosaur, but not YOU!

Helpless!!!!! Helpless!! Damn!! Damn!! Damn!!